Leaving the Life
The UN guys, they offered me a deal. They said I'd go free if I'd rat out some of my old acquaintances. So I made up a lot of stuff about them because that's what they wanted to hear- but it was all lies - uh - everything. And they kept saying McGelboim killed this guy, and Ricky Beltran blew-up that guy, and that intoxicated Kick Save Records CEO defrauded his shareholders... And I was like "Sure... Why not?!" The tribunal bought it, so some of my old friends are in alot of trouble.
They had me in an army barracks air-tight for a few days but yesterday they moved me to Waukesha Wisconsin (USA) so I can begin my new life in middle-America as part of the witness protection program.
The hardest thing is to leave the life. I loved the life. We were treated like kings. We had it all. I had bags filled with severed heads stashed in my kitchen. I had a bowl full of ears next to my bed. We controlled everything. We paid off judges. We carpet-bombed a home for the mentally challenged. We strafed the Sacramento Kinko's office every Wednesday at 1pm EST. Everything was for the taking. And when we wanted something- we just took it. We looted Middle Eastern museums. We spit on wheelchair-bound senior citizens. I stole a little girl's bike once (don't worry- I gave it back after I rode around the block once or twice).
And now it's all over. And that's the hardest part. Now everything is different. There's no action in Waukesha. I have to wait around for welfare checks just like everyone else in the town. I can't even get decent food. After I got here I ordered a bratwurst with sauerkraut... ...and I got a penis with relish. I'm an average nobody. I have to ride the bus like an ass-hole. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.
posted by McStallen at
11:16 AM
9 Comments:
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Whining about getting a cock with relish? Just eat it you privileged little baby. I eat rocks 7 days a week, and a penis would be a welcome addition to my diet
I cook all day but at least I don't have to worry about the choppers overhead. You should be so lucky. Don't forget to stir the sauce every 15 mins.!
That's easy- Even a retard im a wheelchair wouldn't forget to stir the sauce every 15 minutes.
But did you ever cook for 20 guys before, Mikhael? You see, you start out with a little bit of oil. Then you fry some garlic. Then you throw in some tomatoes, tomato paste, you fry it; ya make sure it doesn't stick. You get it to a boil; you shove in all your sausage and your meatballs; heh?... And a little bit of wine. And a little bit of sugar, and that's my trick.
You know, Mikhael, we was all proud of you- bein a war hero and all
You know, you fucking ninjas really amaze me. Coming on my site and starting shit with me. Do I start shit on your Mr. Kabukeman site or where ever the hell you write your drivel? Do I? No-No I don't - because I have respect for other people.
And you gutless rejects obviously don't have any respect. So now I think I need to teach you some fucking manners. You think you can take me? You think you can out-run a bullet? You ever hear about that ninja that I threw in a wood-shredder in Osaka? You want to be next? Well step on up and get what's coming to you.
I was at a weddin in Waukesha once. A kid comes up to me in a white jacket, gives me a Ritz cracker and chopped liver, and he says "Canapés." I say, "Can o' peas my ass, that's a Ritz cracker and chopped liver!"
What really happened to Pentangeli Mikhael?
He's on a play... back to Sicily.
It was between the brothers Kaye, I had nothing to do with it.
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