Uncle Redd's PigSkin Preview
So I caught up with Uncle Redd at that second wedding in Russia- I followed him into the men's room and and drew my firearm and shoved it up his ass and told him I was going to waste him. He started begging for mercy and offered to post some fantasy football tips on my blog in exchange for his life. I figured it was a great opportunity for me to finally get some American football stuff up on my blog since my knowledge of the sport is rather limited- so I took him up on the offer. I edited out most of the profanity and racial slurs, and posted his thoughts here...
Uncle Redd's Late Risers
Mike Anderson, RB Den -despite all the Tatum Bell hoopla, Anderson is slated to start for the Broncos. He rushed for 1500 yards and 15 TDs when he started in 2000
Carson Palmer, QB Cin -he has a great cast around him and all the requesite skills, so he should be ready to turn the corner
Drew Brees, QB SD -has looked sharp in the preseason and is picking up where he left off in 2004 - you may be able to steal him late because of the Antonio Gates hold-out nonsense
DeShaun Foster, RB Car -injury-prone but with tremendous upside- great big-play potential and right now he holds the #1-back spot
Reuben Droughns, RB Cle -a better fit for Cleveland's running game than Lee Suggs -will benefit from Suggs' preseason injury-problems
JP Losman, QB Buf- This second-year QB has everything you could ask for as he prepares for his first year as a starter- he has great size and skill, a great cast around him, no QB competition, and had a year to learn the system
Mewelde Moore, RB Minn- Michael Bennett may be starting for now, but Moore is the best fit at RB on the Vikes. Bennett is missing the next preseason game and may miss the opener, which could open the door for Moore
Brandon Jacobs, RB NYG -this giant Giant (6'4, 256 lbs) has impressed alot of people this preseason with his hard-nosed running
Laveranues Coles, WR NYJ -reunited with Chad Pennington, Coles should put up great numbers so long as he stays healthy
Chris Perry, RB Cin -a tremendously talented young running back currently held back from fantasy stardom by chronic injuries and the presence of team-mate Rudi Johnson. He's replaced Kenny watson as the Bengals featured back in passing formations
Thomas Jones, RB Chi -Jones may start every game this year for the Bears- Cedric who?
JJ Arrington, RB Ari -lots of fantasy pundits are predicting great things for this rookie- Denny Green loves to show-case his rookies, so Arrington will get plenty of opportunities early on. But Marcell Shipp is looming in the background like impending danger should Arrington falter, and Arrington could end up being the next Leeland McElroy
Frank Gore, RB SF- may get a chance to start if Kevan Barlow picks up where he left off last year. Had a fine collegiate career at Miami that was disrupted by several injuries
Uncle Redd's Busts
Cedric Benson, RB Chi -his hold-out is killing his fantasy stock. As Steve Spurrier once said, "Hindsight is 50-50," but what was Benson thinking making those ridiculous hold-out demands?
Ronnie Brown, RB Mia -can anyone run behind the Dolphins' offensive line? Line coach Hudson Hawk better get his act in gear
Michael Bennett, RB Min- he's had an injury-plagued career, and he has an injury-plagued 2005 preseason
Mike Williams, WR Det -currently the #4 WR on the Lions depth chart, behind Charles Rodgers, Roy Williams, and Kevin Johnson
Clinton Portis, RB Was -Jon Jansen's back, and Portis is 20 pounds heavier, but that still won't be enough when teams start stacking the box against the Skins because of their horrific passing game
Tatum Bell, RB Den -will eventually be the #1 back in Denver- but it may take time
Lee Suggs, RB Cle -injury-prone and not an every down back- look for him to slide into the role of third-down back -now it looks like he will sit out the next two weeks, opening the door for Reuben Droughns or William Green
Domanick Davis -I just don't have alot of confidence in him- injury concerns, competition, limited talent etc
Rudi Johnson -when Johnson and Chris Perry are both healthy, who's better?
Aaron Brooks -gets worse and worse every year. Jim Haslett should just take him into a field and shoot him
2 Comments:
I'm surprised you didn't mention Greg Lewis or Reggie Brown. I think one will have a fine season opposite TO.
Peace!
Fuck 'em
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