Mucking thru the Desert/ Uncle Redd's Week 3 PigSkin Picks!
Who would have thought at my age I'd still be humping through the bush like an 18-year old raw recruit? Well that's what happened here- basically Horny Ed needed every swinging-dick he had in the field, and my assignment in Chad has evolved into a bloody search and destroy mission for the government of Chad. Basically, we drop alot of bombs and then walk through the desert like ghosts in a landscape, searching for opposition forces. Well here I am - anonymous all right, with guys nobody really cares about - they come from the end of the line, most of them, small nation-states you never heard of- Lesotho, Gabon, Comoros, Kiribati, Turkmenistan, Wampum, Pennsylvania. Two years of elementary school is about it, and maybe if they're lucky a job waiting for them back at the local rice paddie or irrigation ditch- They're the bottom of the barrel -that's why they call them 'grunts'- cause a 'grunt' can take it- can take anything. They're the best I've ever seen - maybe I've found it finally, way down here in the sand - maybe from down here I can start up again and be something I can be proud of, without having to fake it- like Gandpa in the Boer War- maybe I can see something I don't yet see, learn something I don't yet know ...
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Sorry for all the soul-searching- anyway Uncle Redd has e-mailed me his "NFL week 3 PigSkin Picks"- feel free to gamble away all your life-savings on a few paragraphs of his drivel:
Sunday
Jacksonville at the Jets- folks I have been talking up the Jags all year- now it's time to get on the bandwagon and start winning money with me- take the underdog Jags in this one- they're getting three points and they have been nothing but spectacular this year. They covered last week against the Colts and an injury concern to Byron Leftwich and Donovan Darius has bettors taking the home team in this one. But Curtis Martin is dinged up and the swarming Jags defense will cover- I shit you not
Carolina at Miami- Miami is improving, at home, and getting 3 1/2 points. But I say "So what!" The Panthers are an elite team playing solid smash-mouth football and they will win and cover. Miami has a great defense (and many bettors are still sore that the Fish beat Pats near the end of last year) so don't expect too much scoring. Expect alot of running early on from both teams, and expect to see the Panthers wear down the Dolphins on the ground- the combination of Stephen Davis and DeShaun Foster is alot more potent than Ronnie Brown. Stud DT Kris Jenkins is out for the Panthers, but the Panthers stopped Corey Dillon cold last week sans Jenkins.
Tampa Bay at Green Bay- The Bucs are giving 3 1/2 despite playing in Lambeau, but I say take them anyway. Tampa Bay is emerging as a very solid play-off contender and Green Bay is a dog-shit franchise. The Packers' defense is terrible and Tampa Bay will score early and often. If you saw Braylon Edwards' or Steve Heiden's TDs last week, you'd know exactly what I mean. Expect a blow-out, and some last-game heroics from Burt Favre that come up about 10-15 points short. But remember, the Packers are the underdog and the game is in Green Bay, so check the weather report before you lay down any money...
Monday Night
Kansas City at Denver- Time to double-up on Monday night to make up for all your Sunday losses. And it's time to take the Chiefs. The Chiefs have played sound football this year and are getting 3 points. I think they pull out a victory. The favored Broncos have home-field advantage, but that's about it. Their backfield is a mess and their passing game is very inconsistent. Gamblers are high on them after they snuck out a victory over the 0-2 Chargers last week, but I don't think they can pull it off two weeks in a row. After years of tinkering, the Chiefs are finally playing the type of solid football under Dick Vermeil that Vermeil's Super Bowl Philadelphia and St Louis teams played.
Not with a 10-foot pole...
The 0-2 Vikings are garbage and are favored against the emotionally charged New Orleans Saints. Folks, no one really knows how good or bad the Vikings are yet- that will all come out over the next few weeks- so either team has the capability to win this game by 20-30 points, and they both have their backs against the wall, so stay away and don't lay any money down on this one, because anything can happen here...
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Sorry for all the soul-searching- anyway Uncle Redd has e-mailed me his "NFL week 3 PigSkin Picks"- feel free to gamble away all your life-savings on a few paragraphs of his drivel:
Sunday
Jacksonville at the Jets- folks I have been talking up the Jags all year- now it's time to get on the bandwagon and start winning money with me- take the underdog Jags in this one- they're getting three points and they have been nothing but spectacular this year. They covered last week against the Colts and an injury concern to Byron Leftwich and Donovan Darius has bettors taking the home team in this one. But Curtis Martin is dinged up and the swarming Jags defense will cover- I shit you not
Carolina at Miami- Miami is improving, at home, and getting 3 1/2 points. But I say "So what!" The Panthers are an elite team playing solid smash-mouth football and they will win and cover. Miami has a great defense (and many bettors are still sore that the Fish beat Pats near the end of last year) so don't expect too much scoring. Expect alot of running early on from both teams, and expect to see the Panthers wear down the Dolphins on the ground- the combination of Stephen Davis and DeShaun Foster is alot more potent than Ronnie Brown. Stud DT Kris Jenkins is out for the Panthers, but the Panthers stopped Corey Dillon cold last week sans Jenkins.
Tampa Bay at Green Bay- The Bucs are giving 3 1/2 despite playing in Lambeau, but I say take them anyway. Tampa Bay is emerging as a very solid play-off contender and Green Bay is a dog-shit franchise. The Packers' defense is terrible and Tampa Bay will score early and often. If you saw Braylon Edwards' or Steve Heiden's TDs last week, you'd know exactly what I mean. Expect a blow-out, and some last-game heroics from Burt Favre that come up about 10-15 points short. But remember, the Packers are the underdog and the game is in Green Bay, so check the weather report before you lay down any money...
Monday Night
Kansas City at Denver- Time to double-up on Monday night to make up for all your Sunday losses. And it's time to take the Chiefs. The Chiefs have played sound football this year and are getting 3 points. I think they pull out a victory. The favored Broncos have home-field advantage, but that's about it. Their backfield is a mess and their passing game is very inconsistent. Gamblers are high on them after they snuck out a victory over the 0-2 Chargers last week, but I don't think they can pull it off two weeks in a row. After years of tinkering, the Chiefs are finally playing the type of solid football under Dick Vermeil that Vermeil's Super Bowl Philadelphia and St Louis teams played.
Not with a 10-foot pole...
The 0-2 Vikings are garbage and are favored against the emotionally charged New Orleans Saints. Folks, no one really knows how good or bad the Vikings are yet- that will all come out over the next few weeks- so either team has the capability to win this game by 20-30 points, and they both have their backs against the wall, so stay away and don't lay any money down on this one, because anything can happen here...
posted by McStallen at
10:03 AM
6 Comments:
You ignorant ass-hole! You're killing alot of good bettors with those fucked up betting picks! You know that McStallen?
Aw shit!
Ripper Bravo Two- Check your bets... check your bets, because the Jets-Jags game is off the board! Say again, the Jets-Jaguars game is off the board!
McGelboim,
One New Yorker to another, I say stay away from that game. I wouldn't bet on it if the exportation of Arabs in America depended upon it.
The Giants have played well this year and are 2-0 and can afford to lose. The Chargers are a decent team, but are 0-2, at home, with their back against the wall. They NEED to win. There is a ton of parity in the NFL and instincts tell many people that Tomlinson and Brees will erupt for big games and San Diego wins by 7-10 points.
But the spread is huge (5 1/2 points), and the Giants are a much better team right now playing better football.
So I think that goes in the "10-foot pole" category
On a somewhat unrelated note, I just want to say how honored I am to have a screen icon like Lee Strasburg (the father of method acting) portray my likeness in the Godfather II. I didn't buy it in the airport like Hyman Roth did, but other than that it was very accurrate.
Fuck that home owner insurance salesman ass-hole- he just provoked a personal war with me. He left his web address, and I'm going to try and track him down
And here's my general policy toward spam- If you spam my site with an ad, I'm going to look for you. And in the event I find you, I'm going to slit your fucking throat and kill your children. And I'll rape your husband/wife and make you watch if I have enough time.
I got zero tolerance with this spam stuff- I consider it to be a capital offense- and I'm not in the forgiveness business, so don't look for any mercy here
So if you start shit on my site with ads, things could end up real bad for you - like morgue bad
RIGHT ON anonymous! when i surf I too look for interesting blogs. This one is good, but could you talk a little more about the boys you see in these various Af-ri-can nation-states.
I'm pretty much into gratuitous assplay and anal exploration. Check out my favorite website:
http://www.scouting.org/
Dont kill me McStallen. I cant help it if I enjoy the simpler pleasures in life. Woahhh! Yeahh! I'm feeling a little bit tipsy!
Fuck you too McStallen. You know everyone doubted us. They got on us after we lost to Miami. But coach stayed calm and he always had confidence in us and we have confidence in each other now. And you know like I said, we're playing like a team- and like a pack of wild and crazy dogs! And you tell Uncle Redd he can go fuck his self. Shit.
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