The Wedding Crasher/ Bud Selig War Criminal
Friends,
I am writing from a safehouse in Panama City, Florida (USA). I recently circled the coast of Africa like the great Vasco DeGama on a fast moving cargo ship, and then made it into the continental United States on a rubber raft, undetected by these American "Coast guard" imbeciles.
I am readying myself for a trip that will entail much violence and blood-letting. My arch-nemesis Otis Carson plans to finally carry out his wedding this upcoming weekend. The wedding is to take place in St Louis Missouri and it is my opportunity for vengeance. I am going to string claymores all around the wedding grounds, and then McGelboim will be riding in on the McStallen attack helicopter laying snake and nape. Then I'll probably run around the wedding grounds with an AK-47 mowing down survivors. Sort of like a bad episode of "Dynasty." Sounds tricky, but we already have the McStallen attack helicopter stored in a warehouse in East St Louis, so this should be just like shooting monkeys in a barrel
And I must comment on this troubling news about our old Cuban acquaintence Mr. Rafael Palmeiro, whose niece I once helped smuggle into the United States in exchange for a case of 2001 Texas Rangers autographed baseballs. Palmeiro is a cheater. That makes 4 of the top-10 all-time homerun hitters total cheaters- Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, Barry Bonds and Raffy. These evil-doers perpetrated this fraud under MLB Commissioner Bud Selig's watch. Mr. Selig was a small-minded backwoods Wisconsin twit, and this simpleton was easily impressed by a mindless homerun, much in the same way that a small child would be. Mr. Selig condoned this unnecessary, nonsensical homerun barrage that destroyed over a hundred years of sacred baseball records in a few seasons. Millions of baseball fans will forever feel the effects of Mr. Selig, just as millions of Cambodians will forever feel the effect of Pol Pot, just as millions of Chileans will forever feel the effect of Augusto Pinochet, just as millions of small business owners will forever feel the impact of Ronald Reagan.
And How did this Mr. Selig ever come into power in the first place? ...because he made alot of money selling cars in Wisconsin and owns a baseball team there? Jesus Christ, everyone from Wisconsin is an idiot. And that makes Selig the king of the idiots, so don't give him any credit for what he did there. Even the most savvy businessman in Wisconsin would run a business into the ground in a competitive city like Chicago, New York or DC. Comparatively speaking, a Wisconsin car tycoon is about as financially competent as a New York homeless man. People from Wisconsin should not be put in charge of anything on a national level. They just aren't smart enough to handle it. And all they do is interact with other idiots from Wisconsin- which just makes them stupider- but some of these morons think they are intelligent just because they beat those other idiots in a battle of wits. Shame on you Bud Selig you war criminal, Go back to selling cars to illiterate Wockashaw pig farmers.
I am writing from a safehouse in Panama City, Florida (USA). I recently circled the coast of Africa like the great Vasco DeGama on a fast moving cargo ship, and then made it into the continental United States on a rubber raft, undetected by these American "Coast guard" imbeciles.
I am readying myself for a trip that will entail much violence and blood-letting. My arch-nemesis Otis Carson plans to finally carry out his wedding this upcoming weekend. The wedding is to take place in St Louis Missouri and it is my opportunity for vengeance. I am going to string claymores all around the wedding grounds, and then McGelboim will be riding in on the McStallen attack helicopter laying snake and nape. Then I'll probably run around the wedding grounds with an AK-47 mowing down survivors. Sort of like a bad episode of "Dynasty." Sounds tricky, but we already have the McStallen attack helicopter stored in a warehouse in East St Louis, so this should be just like shooting monkeys in a barrel
And I must comment on this troubling news about our old Cuban acquaintence Mr. Rafael Palmeiro, whose niece I once helped smuggle into the United States in exchange for a case of 2001 Texas Rangers autographed baseballs. Palmeiro is a cheater. That makes 4 of the top-10 all-time homerun hitters total cheaters- Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, Barry Bonds and Raffy. These evil-doers perpetrated this fraud under MLB Commissioner Bud Selig's watch. Mr. Selig was a small-minded backwoods Wisconsin twit, and this simpleton was easily impressed by a mindless homerun, much in the same way that a small child would be. Mr. Selig condoned this unnecessary, nonsensical homerun barrage that destroyed over a hundred years of sacred baseball records in a few seasons. Millions of baseball fans will forever feel the effects of Mr. Selig, just as millions of Cambodians will forever feel the effect of Pol Pot, just as millions of Chileans will forever feel the effect of Augusto Pinochet, just as millions of small business owners will forever feel the impact of Ronald Reagan.
And How did this Mr. Selig ever come into power in the first place? ...because he made alot of money selling cars in Wisconsin and owns a baseball team there? Jesus Christ, everyone from Wisconsin is an idiot. And that makes Selig the king of the idiots, so don't give him any credit for what he did there. Even the most savvy businessman in Wisconsin would run a business into the ground in a competitive city like Chicago, New York or DC. Comparatively speaking, a Wisconsin car tycoon is about as financially competent as a New York homeless man. People from Wisconsin should not be put in charge of anything on a national level. They just aren't smart enough to handle it. And all they do is interact with other idiots from Wisconsin- which just makes them stupider- but some of these morons think they are intelligent just because they beat those other idiots in a battle of wits. Shame on you Bud Selig you war criminal, Go back to selling cars to illiterate Wockashaw pig farmers.
posted by McStallen at
11:15 AM
11 Comments:
hey McStallen, do you think Selig has a good recipe for cat?
My one regret in life is not killing my grandson Scott right after he was born. That god damn runt is running around ruining the family name
And if anyone here tries to change a rule in any one of your fantasy leagues, I'm going to kick your fucking monkey asses
grampa nuttelman,
would you ever consider playing the lead role in the upcoming drama - George St. Pierre Takes It to the Limit?
Hmm sounds like an excellent opportunity for me to explore my homosexual side. Tell you what- I'll think about it.
But in the meantime I am mulling over these trade proposals CoCo Khoury keeps sending me. CoCo and I talk about one type of deal over the phone, but then he sends me an offer on-line about a totally different deal. Que lastima!
Anyone here represent whales or do whale litigation? I heard McGelboim specializes in that. Anyway I'm looking for someone to represent me in a suit for libel against this Melville ass-hole- he gave a very negative (and fictional) portrayal of me in some this book he wrote. And he kept calling me a dick in it, which I think is very unprofessional
white whale, you should call Jefferson Millstone. Even though he despises all animals, he took whale law while attending some he-haw law school in Missouri. He is always ranting on and on about taking substantive legal classes . . . like whale law.
I actually went to a legal clinic in St Louis, and told them I was an indigent whale in need of legal representation
But I encountered this mean red-haired woman named Mary who was actually larger and more rotund than me. She was wearing a large green dress, and if the dress had pockets it would have looked like a pool table. Anyway she called me a dirty Republican and physically dragged me back into the Mississippi River and told me she'd harpoon me if she ever saw me again. The pisser of it all is that I'm a registered independent- the green party takes care of us whales. What a bunch of shit
Oh hey- by the way- Did you guys know whales type with their cocks? Male ones do anyway. I'm not telling you what female whales type with
McStallen, do you collect the eyes of your victims like I do. Any advice on how to pick out your victims? Lately, I have been just walking down the street and choosing people that remind me of justin millichap. and by the way, you have no evidence that sammy sosa took steroids.
Dumbass Cubs fan Radcliffe, there is no evidence Big Mac took Roids either. But gee, we all know he did. Guess it is too much to ask a Cubs fan to live in reality
The problem with collecting eyes is storing them. Tongues and ears can be strung along a necklace, but with eyes you really have to go mayonese jar with formalgamahyde. When choosing a victim, I always ask myself, "If I was god, would I kill this person today?" If the answer is yes, then I kill them. I guess in my world, my god kills every Asian senior-citizen he ever lays eyes upon
This blogstuff is great just looking around yours I have one too dallas texas wedding website dedicated to dallas texas wedding
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home