Friday, August 31, 2007

All's Well That Ends Well

After the nasty little friendly fire incident I ran back to battalion, hopping mad, and determined to make someone pay for all the inane shelling.

I headed for the sand-bagged .88 batteries that we kept next to the hospital and came upon an artillery unit.

"God dammit- Who ordered in all that artillery?! I haven't seen a shelling that bad since Jose Lima was pitching for the Mets!" I screamed.

"What about Gallardo? The Rockies put 11 on him about a month ago." said one of the artillery men.

Well that did it- getting cute with me, and taking a shot at future staff ace Yovani Gallardo. What did Gallardo ever do anyway? I had heard enough. I grabbed the man and held my .45 to his head.

"Now you guys are going to start talking or I'm going to start wasting people! We start with the funnyman!" I yelled at the artillery unit.

The men appeared stunned, but remained quiet. I needed them to start talking.

I cocked my .45 and pressed it on the artillery man's forehead.

"I caca dao VC! I caca dao VC!" I yelled.

The situation grew more and more tense. From one of the watch-towers, Barnes and Elias looked on in disapproval.

"Stay out of this you two- this ain't your fight!" I screamed at them. Elias just shook his head and looked away. Frickin' condescending water-walker.

I was about a split-second away from pulling the trigger when a man in a French military uniform came forward from the artillery team.

"C'est moi." he said.

"You ignorant ass-hole! You killed alot of people with that fouled up fire mission!" I screamed.

I recognized this guy- he was the same guy who accidentally fired on us when were storming the Anthill outside of Boulder about a month back- we lost alot of good men up there.
Well this dog's time had come- I was going to make an example of him. I put a pair of handcuffs on him and told him that I was going to blow him away.
He didn't respond.

Then I drew my .22, and at point blank range fired. The artillery man dropped to the ground, dead.

A medic who heard the gun-shot came rushing out.

"Is everything OK he asked?"

"Yeah we're fine now- just a little flashback." I responded.

I walked back to the barracks to get some sleep. I had been up fighting the whole night- Things had gotten pretty hairy at times, but it looked like everything was fine now and I could finally just lay down and get some well deserved shut-eye.


Anonymous Pumpkin Mask said...

it's almost halloween and i will be looking to pick up children

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Max Garfadewer said...

Anyone come across a hamster that responds to the name "Mr. Winky?" He escaped from anus last week and was headed due south. He was heavily lubed and confused and possibly dangerous. I suspect he is probably in North Jersey.

12:40 PM  

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